How do we shower?

A quick tutorial for all men and women.

How to shower - a quick tutorial for the women

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to the bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas of your body.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Make mental note to do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and purnice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it is clear.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub until it gets red.

9. Wash the rest of your body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Rinse off the conditioner from your hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.

12. Turn off the shower.

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in the shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

14. Get out of the shower. Dry with a towel the size of a small country. Wrap your hair in a super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits and tweeze al extra hair.

16. Return to the bedroom wearing long dressing gown and a towel on your head. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas of your body.

 How to shower - a quick tutorial for the men

1. Take off your clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your a**.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face.

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and the surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

13. Pee.

14. Rinse off and get out of the shower.

15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on the floor because the shower curtain was hanging out of the tub the whole time.

16. Admire your wiener size in the mirror again.

17. Leave the shower curtain open, the wet mat on the floor, the hair dryer and the lights on.

18. Return to the bedroom with a towel around your waist. If you see your wife along the way pull off the towel, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound again.

19. Throw the wet towel on the bed.