Difficult to say

Things that are difficult to say 

when drunk:

- Innovative

- Preliminary

- Proliferation

- Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult 

to say when drunk:

- Specificity

- British Constitution

- Passive - aggressive disorder

Things that are IMPOSSIBLE to say when drunk:

- Thanks, but I don't want to have sex

- Nope, no more beer for me

- Sorry, but you're really not my type
- Let's not fight, please let's discuss the matter
- It is absurd to piss by a tree, any toilets around?

- Good evening officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

- Oh, I couldn't.... No one wants to hear me sing
- I will go now, I work tomorrow morning

Drinking fault finder

A solution to all your drinking troubles

Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste, shirt front is wet

Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to the wrong part of the face

Solution: Buy another pint and practice in front of the mirror. Continue with as many pints as necessary until drinking technique is perfect.

Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste, beer usually pale and clear

Fault: Glass is empty

Solution: Find someone who will buy you another pint.

Symptom: Feet cold and wet

Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle

Solution: Turn glass so that the open end is pointing toward the ceiling.