Politically correct

How to speak about women and be politically correct:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" 

    She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER"

    She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" 

    She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" 

    She is"LIGHT- HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION HIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND"

    She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD"

    She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" 

    She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" 

    She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you 

    She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" 

      She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" 

      She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" 

      She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."